Southwoods 101 - Homesickness: Physically Here, Mentally Elsewhere

Don’t worry - they don’t go through it alone.

Our highly trained counselors and supervisors are well versed in the support, connection and trust needed to guide each child through the process, however their homesickness manifests.

Each year, our first year staff look at me like I am crazy when I begin our first homesickness discussion during staff training by truthfully saying, “This is my absolute favorite part of camp.” But I mean it - it’s an absolute honor to be there in support of our campers while they take on this transformational rite of passage.

Here is how we support Southwoods campers experiencing homesickness:

• Redirect toward participation or movement: Often all that is needed is a quick supportive conversation and a nudge back into the group. However, if they don’t feel ready for full engagement at the moment, a walk to a preferred location with a counselor or friend can get the blood flowing and thoughts refocused on the present.

• Find a connection: My favorite concise definition of homesickness is that you are “mentally in one place, but physically in another.” In order to feel mentally plugged in, you have to feel connected. I constantly remind our counselors the importance of being interested in their campers. Ask questions: “Did you take any trips with your family this year? Do you have any pets?” Once campers know that they are in a place where people care about them, it becomes much easier to let their guard down and start to build meaningful connections.

• Pair with a new friend or big bro/sis: Returning campers, especially those who have experienced homesickness in the past, are always excited to lend support, and are able to connect and relate as peers.

• Get them a win: What are they most excited for at camp? What activity do they excel in? What board game are they best at? Getting kids in their element and even facilitating an opportunity for them to teach it to others is a huge boost of self esteem and can help them find footing when they feel lost.

Here are some helpful things you can do before camp:

• Encourage your campers to express themselves, both to you and to their counselors and directors during their stay at camp. Make sure they know that even though they don’t know us yet, the camp staff is excited to get to know them and help support them every step of the way.

• Give them opportunities to build their independent skill set (sleepovers, staying with trusted relatives for a long weekend, etc.)

• Ensure your campers know that homesickness is normal. Your feelings, while they may be overwhelming at moments, are universal, and will indeed get a bit better each day.

• Believe in your kids! “When parents step back, kids step up.”

Here’s are a few things not to do:

• Tell them that you will pick them up if they aren’t having a good time. Many parents make this well-intentioned promise, thinking that if you can just get them to camp, they’ll have so much fun that it won’t matter. However, this provides an easy off-ramp that is tremendously difficult for kids to take their mind off of and undercuts our staff’s ability to redirect them into the swing of things.

• Send “We miss you SOOOO much :(“ letters. Your kids worry about you. They know you miss them. They are on their own adventure and the emotional weight of their parents’ emotions can be a heavy burden on top of what they’re experiencing on their own. All the better to send “we’re so proud of you!” letters letting them know all of the reasons you know they can do it.